10 things I like about Bozeman...first impressions

10. SNOW
9. green green green!
8. no overhead flights
7. Silence at night
6. happy dogs
5. deer in the yard
4. walking trail just outside the back gate
3. people look you in the eye and say hello as you walk past
2. mountains
1. YNP is an hour away

10 things I WON'T miss about Arizona

10. Dust
9. overhead military flights (we are right in the flight path for DM)
8. police helicopters with search lights every weekend
7. Our frat-boy neighbors that listen to their iPods on level 10 while passed out on the porch at 4AM
6. Cockroaches
5. swamp coolers
4. thorns, stickers and spikes
3. border patrol
2. the republican legislature
1. July

10 things I'll miss about Tucson

10. Geckos by the porch light
9. The Monsoons
8. The smell of creosote bush after the rain
7. lizards in the backyard
6. the way the desert buzzes and hums at 100+ in the summer
5. amazing sunsets
4. Oct-March
3. 4th ave to downtown
2. awesome mexican food
1. my friends!

10 things I like about moving

10. Lightening the load
9. Finding things you thought you lost
8. Reading the old diary
7. Anticipation
6. Burning the stack of bills, receipts and other junk in the firepit
5. Having an excuse to get new stuff
4. Bubble wrap
3. hmmmmm....
2. Moving?
1. being done with it?

Starting a theme of top 10 lists

Top 10 things I hate about moving:

10. Seriously, where did all this crap come from
9. Killer dust bunnies
8. Living in a pile of boxes
7. Fear of throwing something away and realizing after the garbage has come that you needed it after all
6. Leaving friends
5. Forever jamming packing tape dispenser
4. Finding old embarrassing photos you thought you threw out the last time you moved
3. Knowing that you'll put the most important things (remote controls, chargers, etc) in the box labeled "MISC" which you won't find until 6 months after you needed them and had to buy already
2. Packing
1. Selling my crap http://www.amazon.com/shops/ASYF63FD5L6C4

Some things come back

I wonder sometimes if there is something I need to learn about my choices in the people I have around me. Or is it just really bad luck that both my Master's and PhD advisors turned out to be the wrong person for me? And right at the most crucial point, in both cases, is when I realized it- and that is too late. The funny part is, they are complete opposite personalities. A main reason I picked #2 after my experience with #1.

SO.

Now I go to others to get help- wonderful people with busy schedules. People who care about me, but also have their own students, lives and work.

My life sometimes reminds me of the Dead lyric "when life looks like easy street, there is danger at your door" So, I got my dream job- a post doc in Montana, working for a great guy, in a nice lab, that is well organized, productive and doing cool work. This is after going to a meeting and giving a good talk, getting an award for up-and-coming young scientist, and also getting tapped to go to an NSF meeting in DC to represent my fellowship program.

I get back, and everything seems like it is going well. I have a committee meeting, there is a lot of work to do to finish by the end of the summer, but we all agree it is possible, that we just have a lot of work to do in the next few months. I set a schedule, and then let my family know that I will indeed be walking in graduation ceremony and we have great time and I am on top of the world.

I meet my deadline for the first rough draft, and send files of the data we need to look at. No word. Then I cajole and beg, and we finally all get together as a lab and have lunch. The bomb drops. Chaos ensues. Since June advisor literally drops off the face of the planet.

So, I keep telling myself that I move on, and pick myself up by the bootstraps, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, etc. etc. etc. But some days it's really hard. Today is one of those. Because things are looking up- I've got a great committee that is stepping up, I got a fellowship from the grad college to help pay the bills so i don't have to work, I found a quiet study carrel in the library to work. And that has me worried.

Am I so jaded that I can't relax anymore? I think maybe I am just so angry that I am toxic to myself. I think I should take up kickboxing. Scream therapy?

New Pup

Dolly the sweetie

Florida was nice!

What a gorgeous beach. Could have stayed for a few more days. Alas, back to work. I've got a ton to do, and not enough time to do it. I guess that is the story for all grad students!!

Posting frequency

I have a feeling these posts will be further and further apart. As I look for jobs and try to finish the dissertation "thing," I fear that I will not devote as much time to extracurricular activities.

I just got back from DC. NSF meeting. Posting a photo of the view of the Jefferson Memorial across the tidal pond, with some cherry trees in bloom. Jefferson is my favorite prez, even if he was a slave owning aristocrat from Virginia.

DC was strange. I was surprised at how disappointed I was. The lawns all looked a bit sad, full of crab grass and goose poop. The war memorials now dominate the landscape. We remember our wars, but we don't have grand monuments on the Mall to the constitution, the declaration of independence, emancipation, woman's right to vote...

Asilomar, here we come!

Scott is picking me up in 1 hr and I am still not packed. But I can blog! Meeting starts Tomorrow. Looks like some great talks and best of all old friends I haven't seen in a while. Hope this itouch works as well as I need. I am leaving the laptop behind. Let's see how long I last, LOL!!

Scientific Process, thank you very much

Today is my birthday. I won't divulge which one, just cuz I am a big baby.

I spent the early part of the day teaching the scientific process (different from method). Good times. I think they got it.

I ate my first In and Out burger.

I had drink(s) with friends at an Irish pub.

A good day.

Holidays

Well, another year is almost gone. It gets you to thinking about what you've done, not done, and everything in between. I'll focus on what I have done, and what I've been thinking about. The "not dones" are still opportunities.

I've stuck to my plan to get everyone a "gift" of a donation to a cause. I tried to do my best to match people to causes they would appreciate, maybe did better with some than others. I got myself a few things I've been wanting with saved gift cards, and the money I still get from my Dad's insurance- some new pants, a new windblocker fleece that finally went on sale, some slippers. Nothing major. I've always thought that Christmas was over-commercialized and had lost most of its meaning. Donations to charities are down, at the time they need money the most. Hence my plan for donations this year.

Really, we could learn something from our elders- it isn't the stuff you have, it's the people in your life that matter. Spending time with them, doing something special, letting them know you are thinking of them and love them. Getting an expensive gift and mailing it off doesn't show love. The price tag on the present doesn't indicate your value to someone, or your value for someone else. What we should be thankful for and protect is each other and our planet. Life is what matters. How you live it is what matters. How you leave the earth...is it a better place for you having lived? This is what I try to remember and live, everyday.

Peace. Namaste.

FPS #3

So once again, working at Hastings. Only in Missoula now. Video manager. Responsible. Back in school. Finally got my bearings back and direction in my life. Anyway. A woman is in the sale video aisle with her 2 kids. I recognize her but pretend I don't. I smile. She smiles back. I ask her if she needs anything. She is looking for some kids educational videos. Which we don't carry, but I let her know we can order them and they would be in next week. She says fine- so i fill out the order for "Rose Qually." Whose stage name is Andie McDowell. She was still living in Missoula and 9mile. She was still married to a jerk. She seemed very nice and I was glad to hear she found a better man.

FPS #2

Again, working at Hastings. I have to keep this up b/c my bff is competing with me (LOL LD). A co-worker comes back from lunch, and comments that there is a red Porche outside in the parking. OK, if you knew Billings in the 90s- that was something unusual. Anyway, I decided to check it out. I went outside, and it looked like it was actually parked in front of the Subway next door, so I went back and got my wallet so I could get lunch. I went in to Subway, and who was sitting in there eating a friggin Subway sandwich? Tom Cruise and Emilio Estevez. I wanted to ask for autographs so badly. But there is something in me that thinks that is so creepy and weird. So I ordered my sandwich and left. I have often thought "why the hell would Tom Cruise and Emilio Estevez be eating at Subway??" Doesn't it seem a little low-brow?

famous person story

So my friend posted her famous person story. I have some good ones. even living in MT, we see famous ppl. What is funny to me, is that they all happened at Hastings Books Music & Video. In Billings in 1991- incident number one. This really TALL redheaded woman came in. I was working in the stockroom on a Tuesday. Tuesday was the day we got magazines. She was hassling the book person at 10AM, right when we opened, about "where was the new Vanity Fair?" The poor salesperson came back, and lo and behold, we had NOT gotten the new VF in the Tuesday morning shipment. The salesgirl went back out, and this tall redhead FREAKED. I went out and explained to her that we sometimes got only half the shipment of new magazines on Tuesday morning, and got the second shipment on Tuesday afternoon. I would take her number and call her when the new issue came in. She was irate! Said she would go elsewhere. We were IDIOTS. She left. I heard she came back later that day, when the 2nd shipment came in a bought her copy, that as I said came in the afternoon ship. She was on the cover. She is Nicole Kidman. In Montana to film Far and Away. Could have not been a beeyoch. But she was.

my attempt at poetry

the things

i should do

would do

redo

keep me awake in sleep

then dream through the day

sleepwalk

dreamtalk

flying

Plans for next month

All in all a good meeting. My talk went well, of course didn't say everything I wanted, in exactly the way I wanted, but I think it was OK. The main points got across. First Gordon conference, and I think I'll try to go next time around, in 2 years, provided I am still in mycology. John Taylor will be a co-chair, so bound to be lots of things I am interested in.

So, this week here in Tucson, getting caught up on some papers, and hopefully getting some work done around the house. Then off to Billings for a week. Really looking forward to it! Will be great to see family, and we're also planning a backpacking trip in the Beartooths.

Then home again for a week, and off to the ESA meeting in Milwaukee. Mainly going for the Fungal ecology workshop, as I got a scholarship to attend the meeting from FESIN.

good summer!

"we begin life as little scientists"

A really great article in the new yorker, that explains so well how science has affected my life. I came to science "late in life" after dropping out of college, after becoming incredibly disillusioned with life in the modern age. OK, I started reading Kierkegaard in my Norwegian lit class, and it just made me stop and think for about 2 years. That and I realized I didn't really want to be a lawyer, a major in Norwegian wasn't going to get me anywhere, and I was over my head in debt. Amazingly enough, I couldn't work 2 full time jobs, and maintain a 4.0, and live on my own at the same time. The pressure broke me.

Anyway, one morning I was sitting in my apartment in Billings, Montana; pondering what I really loved, what I was passionate about. I loved working in the garden. I loved plants. I loved soil. I loved going for walks, I loved reading and learning about all wonderful creatures on the planet. I realized/remembered/rekindled my love for genetics, ecology and evolution. I decided to move to Missoula that day, and return to school at the University of Montana, where I completed my BA and my MS. Best decision I ever made.

the PZ effect

Ha! funny. Never would I get a hit, but because PZ linked my blog, I got 2 comments. 1 nice person, and 1 crazy person.

If ppl want to read about my bits, fits and starts, be my guest. Say hi once in a while, and plz let me know if I say something factually inaccurate.

I love keeping my toes in restoration ecology, because I think that is what hooked me into biology. That and my 7th grade biology teacher who taught me my first Punnett's square. I love genomics, the fusion of computer sciences and biology. I also think the future is in the soil. I used to be a plant ecology/ plant genetics person. But once I got out in the field, I realized the soil is the great unknown in plant ecology.

Now I study fungi. Soil fungi. Ascomycota, generally. Eurotiomycetes, specifically. Well, even more so, Onygenales. And for my PhD primarily Coccidioides. And know you know all there is to know.